Perception
Have you ever discussed an event that you shared with someone, only to find that you both had two very different experiences?
It is so important to understand that how we perceive things is what determines the experiences that we have in life, and therefore what determines our truth. It is also worth mentioning here that one person’s truth is not the same as everyone else’s truth. It can be quite a shock to discover that what you perceive as truth, may not necessarily be the only truth.
It’s a bit like the saying…
“All Roads Lead to God”
Have you ever wondered how two people can have a shared experience and it is not the same?
This is possible because each of us perceives things in our own way. We are all unique in how we feel inside, and how we perceive ourselves, other people, our lives and the events around us.
We all see things through different lenses, lenses that are colored by our experiences, whether we are conscious of it or not. I’m going to use relationships as an example, but this concept certainly applies to many situations in our lives. Our health, finances, our confidence – which then affects our career path, money, education level.
We do not see things as they are… We see them as we are.
One example is – as a child, you may have been asked how you felt, and your reply was met with criticism. Perhaps you were then told that you were always complaining and you should think about how hard other people’s lives are. Basically, you may have been told that you had no right to be unhappy….and in fact all you were doing was answering a question honestly, as you had been taught to do. If this is a common early experience for you, then later you may associate questions about your feelings with being made to feel bad about them.
Sometimes people ask questions, not because they want to hear your answer, but because they want to tell you their answer. As an adult, you would probably recognize this and walk away unscathed. As a child, this can become your expectation of life, that answering a question about how you feel can become a hurtful experience. While this can happen without any real thought being given to it, the results can be disastrous. You can end up succumbing to your childhood pain, effectively putting a hurt child in charge of your relationships.
The reaction to these past situations colors our perceptions and can stop us from seeing when people really do care for us, and actually want to know the answer to the question. In our intimate relationships, this sort of thing can create many problems and cause us to put up walls to keep people out. We can judge our feelings, or ourselves for having them, rather than simply allowing them to be. If not recognized and dealt with, what seems like a small thing can stop someone from being able to achieve closeness with others.
It is common that our perception of a situation is not based in fact, but instead based on the pain from our past experiences. Without awareness, we can continue our whole lives like this. For some people this can mean a lifetime of failed relationships, where time and time again, they are unable to let someone get close to them. Even worse is that every time this happens, they do not realise that an open and honest conversation could have changed the outcome. Often people look at their life and feel that they are being punished.
Many people have a sense that life is cruel and only brings them pain. The reality is that life brings us exactly what we need, the problem is that many people do not recognize the gift that has arrived at their doorstep. Instead they fall into the trap of repeating the same cycle over and over again.
Recognizing the truth of this can help us to make a very important decision – to put the adult in charge instead of the wounded child.
Life will bring to you the right person, the right scenario, for you to recognize that issues like these exist within. It provides you with an opportunity to heal the wound, and do it differently from there onwards. Unfortunately, each person’s issue plays off the other, so frequently neither party realizes that what they are encountering is an opportunity to recognize and heal a wound. Usually, rather than healing, the hurtful cycle simply continues.
It is said that we only change for ourselves, and we only change when we are ready. Life will continue to present you with these opportunities again and again, until the day where you are finally ready to heal. This is the love that exists for you; there is no requirement that you do anything on any certain timetable, other than when your soul recognizes that you are truly ready to do so. At this point the opportunity will again present itself, probably in a stronger way, and this time you will seize it.
Our lives are colored by the experiences we have and therefore our past can and generally does influence us greatly as to how we perceive the world we live in.
If your relationships have been difficult, if you have been unable to create the sort of relationship that you hoped for, first change your perception of the situation. Understand that while it looked like you were being brought one painful situation after another, perhaps what you were actually being brought was one opportunity to heal after another. Consider that perhaps gratitude is a more appropriate attitude towards your past than hatred.
Understand also that those people who hurt you so badly, are actually souls who love you so much that they would play this hurtful part in your journey here. They knew that you would hate them for what they did, and still they were willing to help you heal because they knew, that at a soul level, it was so important to you to do so. When you bring this understanding into your consciousness, your perception of life can change. When your perception changes, your experiences must also change.
You may need some help to shift your relationships or your perception of what is happening within them. Awareness of what is happening is always a key factor. Any of the audio files below can help you with self-awareness and separating yourself from the issues of others.